October 25th 2013... (Chapter 5)

Aaj hoytoh jani naa sesh barer moto tomar sthy kotha holo telephone a... Khub memorable thakbe ei deen ta.. oct 25th 2013 7:49 pm ...  raag,obhiman,kostho,anondo ei sob onubhuti i holo aaj ker deen tae

Kichu mon a koro naa first ei bole di tomar call ta ami record kore rekhechi ... it will b a boost for me wen i bog down... Khub expect korchilam arekta chance debe... ami tomar maa ke kono deen i choto kori ni eta agey clear koredi amar raag hoto sudhu eta niey je tini keno akhno achen .. jani karon ta kano, tao pagla Lover chilam toh amar mathay bhalobasha chara ar kono kichu  mathay dhukto naa ..jhamelar cheye eka thaka better eta mani... Love er comparsion a kono sacrifice hoy naa eta amar shob somoy kar bishas..

jai hok tomar last call tar uttor ta ami agey thekei jantam.. karon tomake ami chini ..tumi konodeen o ei bhby stern and strict hoe jao naa, tai jono i sree maa er ashram lokhnath babar mondir gechilam .. jonme porikha ba onno kichur jono matha thekate jai naa .. ekta miracle dakhabe bhebei gechilam .. holo naa i guess life a kichu somoy ashe jeta proman kore dae... Sopno ar bastobh er modhe prochur tofat...

Tumi amar ekta unending sopno i roe gele.. tumi amar chokhe borabor i perfect chile kin2 as usual tomar khetro ta elei over perfect korar chestay lege jetam.. tumi baaje bole naa karon tomake ami aro shundor ebong knowledgeable kore tulte cheyechilam karon tomake nijer bhabtam.. hoytoh kichu jinish ache je gulo nijer Woman ke ekdom i bolte nei... Kin2 tumi amar woman er ageo amar best friend chile.. tai tomake kichu bolar agey bhabtam naa je sheta shune tumi offend hoe jabe..

bolbo naa amay hariey bhul korle baa kichu .. tomay harie jemon ami kichu sikhbo temon amay harie tumio
kichu sikhbe.. Taali ek hath a baaje naa eta ekta probad ache..

3.5 yrs dhore prae roj jalie chi dakha korbi aajke?? , call korbo ?? tomake eto tai chaitam, eta keno bujhle naa go... onno keu eram paglami tante parbe ?? i doubt...  tomar paa er pata teo kiss kortam mon a ache (:P) karon sundorjo mane amar kache tumi i chile...

9:57am oct 26th 2013:

Obhiman hochilo boddo .. keno tumi amay ekhane thakte charle naa... hoytoh aro time petam nijeke bujhe change kore niey nijer life ta notun bhby start korar... Tomar sthy onek jhogra korechi kin2 back of the mind shob somoy tomar kache submissive hoe thaktam.. eta amar body language diey bojhai ni karon bhabtam jodi tomay amar weakness ta dekhie di tahole hoytoh chole jabe ...

mayb eta bhul korechilam... mjhy mjhy icha korto tomar sthy hat te berobo, star cinemay movie dekhbo , 10 takar phucka khabo , bus a auto te travel korbo... Kin2 nijeke boltam naa korish naa eishob jodi o toke incapable bhebe nae tahole toh toke cherei debe for sure.. tai gari , bike , power , money eishb dakhatam..

Amader thakar sorteo amay maa boro korechilo khub olpo diey ebong tatei bhalo chilam.. hotat colg a eshe joto futani barlo .. maa boltoh naa akhn boro hoechis dujon a sukhe achis ne toder jaa lagbe ei deen gulor jonoi ato bachie rakhtam... bhabtam hoytoh it will make u feel secured..eta ekta immatured thought may be..but tomake harabo eta iche korto naa bhabte..

bhebe dekho jodi amar soti hat te prblm thakto sedin dukhho peye bagbazar theke cc obdhi hete jete partam tomake meet korbo bole ..eta onek deen ager ghotona jodio bhule gacho hoytoh (3rd sem).
Akhn bhabi joto ta complex hoe bhabtam tar theke sohoj bhobei ato chinta chara tomar sthy thakte partam..

Dujoner Long walks gulo ar holo naa .. choto choto jinish gulo ar holo naa.. ram mandir a bike a kore fuchka kheye elam kin2 barir samner fuchka ola tar kache ar jawa holo naa.. tomar bhlobasha ta khub sohoj sorol chilo unlike me , amar sob somoy jinish potro ke bodo Jotil kore bhaba sobhab hoe gechilo... boddo nijeke superior dekhie felechilam .. oto tao superior amra noi.. amrao boddo moddho bitto ghorer.. kin2 baire thekei joto glamour dakhatam bhabtam hoytoh tomar bhalo lagbe secured lagbe..

Jibon a kono jinish niey beshi tension korle sheta bheste jae baba boltoh..kono jinish nie i beshi chinta kortam naa sudhu tomake harabo ei tension ta mathar pichone choltoh.. aaj babar kotha ta fole galo...

ami ato lavish bhby shob lead kortam karon amar ucho akhanka o onek beshi chilo .. boddo beshi beshi bhabtam nijer future niey..bhul eta simplicity is the best policy to maintain a relation eta tomar theke sikhlam...
oi simplicity ta jodi agey ashto aaj amra koto simple bhby relation khub sukh niey thaktam

tomar onek ichei dabie rakhtam pore korbo pore korbo bhebe sei gulo ar holo naa.. tomar iche gulo o amon kichui chilo naa je dabanor moto.. tomar pochonder cinema ba phucka ba ektu chup chap tomar hath dhore hatle kichui eshe jeto naa kin2 sekhaneo nijer icha folie chi..

bhable koshto hoy boddo ..last kichu deen jaah suffer korechi hoytoh life a bhulbo naa... kaal keo ghumai ni .. 2 ghonta matro chokh laglo.. aaj ekbar doctor er kache jabo , ghum er oshudh nite .. asha kori thik kore ghumole kichu deen shorir ta abar regain hobe...

As far as manushik dik ta.. eta jani naa go amader babar diker family tei ache depression a chole jawa.. ami jonmor por babar ekta phase gechilo eram .. 6 mash pore chilo baba kaal bollo onek kichu jano naa suicide o attempt kore chilam , Didir o same phase gechilo class 8 a depression er chole a fabulous student lost her academics later depression er oshudh er side effects er boshe a hath er kota nerve o chole jae..
Agey bhabtam ami oder theke onek strong amar eram kichu hby naa kono deen.. kin2 torsu bujhlam amar o ei phase ta eshegache.. kin2 kaal sara raat nijeke bojhalam .. tumi ar asbeo naa amar life a hoytoh aar tomar kichu eshe jache naa ami ki condition diey jachhi tumi tomar kaaj tomar jed ar tomar iche take praddhanno dicho, tahole amar bhenge giey ki hbe.. kaal 9 ta tei last time hoytoh tomar jonoh chokher jol felchi .. jani naa jodio abar bhenge jabo kina... akhn ar jol pore naa chokh diey gola ta bhar hoe thake jeno onek koshto onek bhalo basha ar onek sopno atke roe che.. dhok gile porishkar kore ni..

Dekhe bhalo laglo je tumi confidently bolte parle ami jaah amar akhn chap nei temon , chap thakuk ki naa thakuk tui amar kache otit toke ar ami mon a korte chai naa.. tomar gola diey ei kotha ta jeno ekta 4 foot er sword pete dhuke jawar moto holo ..

Jodi amar bhalo chaite onek agey onek kichu naa sohojo korei chere dite parte destiny ir opor chere..Tomar shob highs lows a chilam , haa hoytoh tar modheo paglamor boshe onek jhogra korechi kin2 pash a chilam mon a kore dekho... Jedin tumi chakri pele ami tomay bolechilam mon a ache I am soooo proud of u baby.. mon theke eshechilo ota :) :) maa ke jorie bolechilam maa takka dao anu chakri peye gache.. maa heshe bollo haa ebar toh anu o debe toke hath khorcha joto deen naa darachis.. eta moja korebolechilo kin2 eta abar tumi onno bhby nio naa..

Tumi je ato practical jantam naa, kaal tomar golar awaj shune bujhlam tumi khub practical hoe gacho bhalo laglo... u got accustomed to pain tai normal hoe gacho... kin2 akta jinish bhebo u dint get accustomed to the pain tomar kaaj tomar notun life ta tomar kichu chotto gha gulo te molum dieche... u r lucky u have so much to do around u ..

tomake onekei choto bela theke bujhie gache amay onek agei chere chole jawar jonoh ..time dakhalo tomay tara koto ta actor chilo .. jodi tomay keu ek percent er jono o influence kore thake takeo tumi chinbe deen furai ni... Ami khub raag i chilam kin2 tomay jee jaaaaan diey bhalo beshe chi...

Kaal amay bolle toke ami mithe ashas debo naa je i will wait for u bt jodi destiny chae tai hbe... Etar mane tumi abar bhalobashbe .. bhalobashar ar ek dorja kholar jonoh toiri korcho nijeke hoytoh .. bhalo ..

amar ektai dorja chilo seta bondho mane ar kichu khulbe naa karor jonoh kono deen... nijeke joto ta likeable achi aro banabo kin2 kono deen karor sthy jabo naa karon my feelings are alwys completely for u .. i wont regain it ever again.. jodi tomar kache ato sotto thekeo tumi amay ei bhby fele die chole gele .. tahole jibon a keu amay parbe naa bujhte...

maa aaj shokal a (26th oct) eshe kotha bolchilo amar sthy .. bollo ami eta expect korini anu ke bolbo bt bolechilo tumi oke ato mano keno manbe naa o poth a chole ashbe.. maa er boddo koshto hoeche chokh a jol dekhlam.. tomake maaf kore dieche kin2 mante parche naa eram cruical time a chere dile maa bollo eita agey dorkar chilo jedin tui oke didir ghore oi bhby kadiechili....maa bollo ami mon a mon a bhabchilam anu ke giey boli tumi oke chere dao tumi akhno oor nijer naa amrai oor raag sohojo korte parina tumi keno korcho...

Kin2 ekta ogad bishas eshe gechilo maa er je tumi amar pashe thakbe at extreme low points of my entire life...thik jei bhby maa baba ke tene tulechilo 1991 a ... maa ektai advice dilo amay raag ta char etar jono toke sobai chere chole jabe ekdeen ..

Maa thik i boleche tomar i moto ... ami aaj goto kichu deen theke nijeke change kore jachi sorboda.. ei muhurte dariey ami nijeke onek ta control kore nieychi ... ashte ashte uthchi as a person kin2 ar oi bhby sucess pabo naa.. my sucess was alwys you ..