Hope november 6th 2013 11:17 am

U r one fantastic person i know , U r THE MOST beautiful person  i ever met, Beauty doesnt mean a beautiful attire or the way one carries herself beauty means to touch some ones life like a stream of water washing away the beast in some one else...

Your presence made me invincible but ur absence is making me realise how small i was, and the way of expressing my love towards you was a worldly disguise where as expressing love is a universal emotion that has a completely different way of approach.. an approach that binds two souls till the end of time..

I always knew i love you more than anything else in this planet but how can i express it was a thing that frustrated me , my thoughts were to never to loose a sight of you  so i fought to meet all days.. my thoughts of hearing your voice and making you hear mine was a way for our souls to communicate all the time hence i use to fight to talk to you for hours at the end of the day.. When i heard we will be away for years to come my innerself cried like a baby and reacted like an infants anger and complaints... though all these are perhaps not a way to express love.. but it sure  tried mean madhu i love you a lot amay chere jash naa please... perhaps your self respect took it in a wrong way... the smile in my face when i used to clasp you in my arms or when i use gaze or catch a glimpse of you when you would agree to meet was much more beautiful than my childish rage and my book of complaints...Doesnt this mean my love for you was sublime ??

when i gave you my soul i did mean it when i said "its yours till the end of time" ... "i want you in all my lives"... You were the anchor in my life amidst the stormy ocean .... your presence clasped me from drowning in this harsh worldly ocean ...

I hope your anger and rage collapses with time and our souls where ever we are in this planets unites... now i have realised you dont need to be clasped in each others arms to be together , you dont need to meet everyday to feel love  and you dont need to talk to make the souls communicate.. you just need a loving heart to seal a person amidst their absence in reality... I have no doubts that i have sealed you in my heart...
I just want to see if u sealed me in yours ...

Truth is when "the mind stops ... time stops .. " i am stuck in that time when you were with me and our love for each other sprayed all colours in each others life.. I now just live to hope.. and hope to dream.. and hope to be with you..

My childish affection and platonitcity for you has subsided like a boiling fluid.. and my love for you has thickened , it is now ready as you always desired , it is like you always imagined...

My heavy heart still beats for you to say "yes ss you are the one".. "you are mine".. My teary eyes has dried leaving hoards of hopes for us to unite..

Can you Ask permission from your innerself just to see me once more ??? dont compromise your choice for if you dont want to see the changes in me... i would still be holding on to you forever... bt the ageing mind says notice me for i am getting old with seconds passing by .. seconds for now is like years to a healthy mind.. for my mind it is ageing beyond its youth .. searching for you in all it percieves...

My heart :-
~ u r in the breath i take ..
u r in the dream i make...

ur the crutch that i need..
ur the hope that i seed..

see me now for i might die..
the weary mind lives to cry..

live for you with a thought
in the end all will sought

without you i will not lie
love you till the day i die ~

come to me and bless my life for i will live till i die.. since the day u left i have started counting the days till i last live ..

i want to live till i die.. not die till the last day i live... but if you can live without me happily all your life i will die till i live with some peace..

see me once amdist your fear.. it will bring me somewhat near..

Christina perry ~ "Thousand Years"

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone,
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

November 1st 2013... (somporko)

Kichu somporko hoy shob kichur urdhe shob kichur opor a.. its called a match made in heavens... tumi amr kache oram i chile..jodio ami tomar kache oram kichui chilam naa..amake ke niey just goto 3.5 bochor tumi just obessed chile... aaj ar sei object ta roilo kina kono matter kore na.. sei pagol prem ta tomar kache akta just relationship chilo which didnt work out.. jodi eto deen tomar moto kore thaktam jani naa taholeo hoytoh chere dite.. kin2 ki jano flawless bole kichu hoy naa tateo kichu flaw nischoi pete...

Amar tomar proti je bhalobasha ta chilo it was mad.. it was intense .. it was divine.. tomar mdhy ami amar ishwar take dekhtam.. tomar mdhy ami ekta maa dekhtam.. tomar mdhy ami amar jiboner shb sukh khuje petam... ato bhalobasha tar ar justification roilo naa.. jibon a first nije kobe gari chailechi first kobe baba chokher jol muchie diechilo.. first kobe ekta darun cricket a performance die chilam .. shob muche gechilo tomar prem a pore... tomay niey ato sukh khuje peyechilam jibon er baki shob smriti baki shob onnonto dukho bhule gechilam...

I feel like a non living object finished with the purpose of love and affection.. ar kichu nei nijer mdhy khali ekta bacha ke kadte dekhi ... akta bacha je uthe daranor agei tar maa take chere dieychole galo..

Jodi tumi amar nijer rokter keu hote hoytoh ei bhby chere jete parte naa... aaj dariey tumi somaj er scale a amay mappo .. somaj er dristibhongi diey amay judge koro... kintu kichu jinish somaj kaaj family self respect dignity liking shob kichur urdhe jae sei infinite scale diey tomay mappi ami...

Ato deen a tomar onek kacher lok amay onek kichu boleche.. tomar bondhura tomar maa .. tomar didi sobai onek bhbg bokeche.. ar tomar bondhura toh amay jatah bole che.. ami gae makhi naa oishob karon amar bhalobasha sudhu tomay niey.. eta ke tomar somaj bole self respect heen manush.. ami boli eta selfless heen  bhalobasha.. dutor mdhy akash patal tofat...

Tumi ashte ashte boro hocho nijer thik bhul ta bichar korte sikhcho .. kintu tomar samajik chokhe jeta bhul lagche sheta ki adeo bhul?? pagoler Bhalobashar ki kono daam nei.. tumio o somaj er moto amay pagol bole outcast kore dile bole dile jaah asylum a giey thak ota tor best jaega... kin2 behind every madness there is a cause of deep emotions.. a cause of deep love..

Nijer maan soman ar baki shob kichu tyag kore diechilam hoytoh relation a thaka kalin jodi amar ghore amay stab kore dite hashte hashtei chokh bujhe nitam... aaj ei bhby torture kore amay marar dorkar chilo naa.. akhn jeno mon a hoy shotti pagol chilam hoytoh oi kota bochor ekta sopno chilo ekta bishhhhaaallll boro sopno chilo jeta kono drugs newar por dekhchilam...

Reality te aaj firlam.. tumi konodeen i nijer feelings er jonoh kichu koro ni tumi hoytoh just amar haa te haa milie chile amar bhoy...ami sala pagol bhabtam hoytoh tumi bhalobeshe haa te haa mela te... sopno and reality hoche duto opposite jinish...
Reality te tumi kono deen i amay bhalobasho ni amar sopne mona hoto jeno tomar kache prem mane ami i...

Bhalobasha ki jinish kash training ba porikha dewa jeto marks ta dekhtam koto pai.. eto bhalo kore bhalobeshe aaj ei deen dekhchi... seconds jokhn years er moto kore kate tokhn bojhajae koto ta feeling chilo... jokhn seconds miliseconds er moto taratari kate tar mane sei feelings er ar kono daam nei...

Amay majhy mjhy eshe ekjon bole janish o tor jonoh pray kkrechilo kaal.. ami hashi ar take boli jaah giey dekhie de amar chobi ta.. ki obosthay achi.. sheo heshe etai bole sala tui i pagol o dkehteo chae naa tui kisher mdhy achis.. o o nijer bhul take niey sheta destiny ir lekha bole dite chae...

Tumi aram se life lead koro go.. hebby uthe darao... jibon a eksecond er jonoh amar kono memories ba sufferings er ktha bhebo naa bujhle ... ami ar beshi kotha barachi naa apatoto.. jei bhby suffer korchi kkrte dao!!! Bhalobeshona jokhn tokhn bhebe ki labh... je bhalobashe shey kisher mdhy diey jache!!!